World-dominance enterprise Amazon has brazenly announced the next stage in its plot to control every aspect of our lives.
The tax-shy company has revealed a new range of Alexa devices that have been created to go in every room of the house – with the long-term plan being that not a single word you utter escapes Amazon’s ears (or eyes. The new models are fitted with cameras, too, for the full 2001 experience).
The firm’s senior vice president, David Limp, said: ‘Voice control in the home will become ubiquitous. Kids today will grow up never knowing a day they couldn’t talk to their houses.’ Or buy a product that didn’t come from Amazon, he could have added but didn’t.
Echo devices already feature alarm clocks, voice calls, timers and weather reports. One of the latest products, the Echo Spot, is a bedside gadget that not only functions as a videophone, but can also do Jetson-style things such as turning the kettle on and opening the curtains (I assume you need to buy a load of other stuff to do these things; it’s not magic, is it?).
Mr Limp said: ‘Setting up your smart home is still just too hard. It can take up to 15 steps to do something as simple as set up a lightbulb.’ He’s right there. I’ve tried setting up ‘smart lightbulbs’: I sure there’s a joke in it, but I can’t think what.
The Echo Show model, which went on sale yesterday and has a 7″ screen, can be linked to your doorbell, baby monitors and the locks to your house.
Anyhow, mi casa es Amazon’s casa.
And just a few years ago, we were all concerned about Tesco taking over everything. Are they even still open?